Bebe

A different sort of countdown

It feels weird to answer that I’m due in X days when anyone asks. It’s no longer months or even weeks.

Six days. A week.

At least technically. I know it can still be weeks. The “any day now” mentality is tough for me. I’m not the most organized planner, but I do like calendars and knowing how much time I have to prepare. The fact that life is going to change for Sean and I and we don’t know exactly when is tough to wrap my head around especially less than a year after we planned our wedding.

This time last year we were sending out wedding invitations. @seanathan

Last July we were tracking RSVPs and in the final two months of wedding prep. We still had a lot of planning to do in mid-July, but we knew that we would be getting married on September 15th.

It’s not like that with Meatball. He can show up on the 25th — highly unlikely — or days/weeks before or after. Who knows.

Papá Chepe - we might steal his birthday

My mom has her hopes set on the 29th so he can be the first of Papá Chepe’s dozens of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to share his birthdate. I thought it would be neat if he shared Sean’s birthday. Sean didn’t think so. Maybe he’ll be a 31st baby like me or he’ll show up on his grandparents’ 36th wedding anniversary.

Whatever the day, I have a feeling it will be like the lyrics in “Las Mañanitas.”

El día en que tú naciste
Nacieron todas las flores

(On the day you were born
All the flowers blossomed)

They’ll ring truer than ever.

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Bebe

On starting maternity leave

Last day in the office for a while. I'll miss my coworkers and the students.

A week ago, I woke up from a dream in the middle of the night. I don’t remember much about the dream except that my friend Gerry was in it and said something like, “Nope, those are real. You’re in labor.”

I laid in bed without waking Sean and wondered if the mild pains I was feeling were cramps from gas, Braxton Hicks, or very early labor.

The worrying began immediately. We were so not ready. The newborn and 0-3 month clothes gifted at the baby shower had not been washed, our hospital bag was 1/3 packed and the nursery was still in progress. He won’t be sleeping there for some time, but I figured we should move gifts out of the living room, take them out of boxes and put them together sooner rather than later. The apartment needed to be cleaned — can you tell my nesting instinct hadn’t kicked in yet? — and more.

The to-do list of things at home worried me, but I was more anxious about what would happen if I had to start my maternity leave a week earlier than planned. In the past month, I’ve been getting things ready for coworkers taking over different aspects of my job, but most of my notes and directions were still a work in progress. There’s only so much I could do a few months in advance. Plus, I had to balance preparing for my leave with normal duties during the quite busy early weeks of summer.

Eventually, I fell asleep. When I awoke in the morning I still had mild cramps but they went away before I left for my 37 week doctor’s appointment.

***

I’ve always stressed about leaving work before a vacation. I’m that person who makes sure to store files in DropBox and checks work email while away. I can’t help it. I have a tough time handing over my responsibilities. I feel a sense of ownership with my programs/students. I also work with great people and don’t want to leave anyone hanging. I’ll miss campus too as I’ve always loved the calmness during the summer. My best memories go back to the August I first arrived and met many of my closest friends. It’ll be the first time in 15 years I won’t be around campus in the early fall quarter.

Now that I’m leaving for a few months, I have mixed emotions. I’ll miss the office and my co-workers, but I also welcome the break and the chance to relax a little (maybe) before the baby gets here. When I set my last day a few months ago with HR, I didn’t know how I’d feel late in pregnancy. As the day drew closer, I thought about pushing it back a week since aside for some nausea I feel okay, can do my job without a problem, and am not in that “I’m so uncomfortable, this baby needs to be born already!” stage yet. However, after my dream and reminder that there’s so much to do, I knew I didn’t want to change the date. I want the time to relax, sleep in and get our home ready — if it works out that way.

***

Friday was my last day. My co-workers surprised me with some snacks and gifts mid-morning. Meatball now has his first UCLA Bruins onesie to go along with his collection of Dodger gear.

I spent the day leaving notes behind on my programs and tasks for the period while I’m gone. I was amused when some of the students in my programs told me to “enjoy [my] vacation.”

As co-workers left for the weekend, there were longer goodbyes than usual, hugs and requests to send lots of pictures. I stayed for a while since I still wasn’t ready and had more work to do. It was past 9 when I finally left.

I walked out feeling incredibly sad. I’ll miss the campus where I’ve spent all of my adult life. I’ll return, but as a different kind of adult.

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Bebe, Familia

Take me out to the baby shower

Proud first time grandparents

My parents and sister hosted a baseball-themed baby shower in honor of me, Sean and baby Meatball on June 22nd. It was a beautiful day filled with family, friends, good food, cute decorations and — of course — lots of adorable baby clothes.

Party planner extraordinaire

My family once again showed that they’re experts at party planning and hosting.

Dodgers and Yankees goodie bags

My mother-in-law, Eula, hosted her a baby shower in NY a few weeks before the California party. We tried to Skype in, but there were technical difficulties.

A blanket for Sean?

We’ve been very blessed by our families’ and friends’ generosity. I know it’s cheesy to proclaim “so blessed!” on social media, but I can’t help it.

Us

It’s the truth.

Continue reading

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Bebe, Familia

35 week update

35 week pansa. Glad my mom saved this dress from my pre-weight loss days (I had given it to her to donate).

I’m at 35 weeks now.

Our doctor took an estimate of Meatball’s current weight, size and position. He’s getting big and he’s in position ready to go.

I’m not sleeping as well and am a little more tired, but it’s not too bad. There were a couple of nights where I woke up every 2 hours, but most nights I only wake up twice. The only things about sleep that are annoying are trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in or waking up with a cramp in my leg or foot.

I’ve only had one sorta dizzy spell. Nausea is coming back with occasional vomiting. It makes me wary of taking the prenatal vitamin because it always makes it worse.

Sean and I have been taking several classes. So far, we’ve taken the four-session prepared childbirth (Lamaze) class. The class was pretty small with only about 10 couples and we did it in two Saturdays. Our teacher, Christina, seemed like a cross between a very knowledgeable labor & delivery nurse/lactation consultant and a stand-up comedian/your hilarious friend. She had the props, stories about family members (mainly her sister), stories about her fiancé, silly gestures/facial expressions and even had the timing down. It was a nice change of pace from the generic DVD we watched in between her bits.

We’ve also had Tuesday evening classes at the hospital where we’re delivering. Our teacher, Gwen, has the same qualifications as Christina but instead she’s an older Jamaican woman. She’s not as funny, but I still like her classes and responses to some of the odd questions she gets. So far, we’ve taken: labor and delivery, breast feeding with success, and newborn care basics.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot, but still have a bunch of questions. I also fear that I’ll miss some early signs of labor or forget what I’m supposed to do.

My baby shower is later today. My sister said she and mom stopped counting the RSVPs after 100 people.

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Bebe, Familia

Thirty-one weeks and two stories

Piñatas

I’m 31 weeks along today! I wanted to take a cute picture of my bump to mark the date but my plans changed after something unexpected this morning. Now, I don’t even want to bother with putting on pants.

I did take pictures today, but they’re dramatic and don’t show much bump. I only took them to pretend I’m a badass or freak out my siblings (depends on the sibling). But, I’m not an alarmist jerk, or I try not to be. When I texted the photo of the IV in my arm and the patient bracelet, I made sure to add that Meatball and I were okay.

Now, for two stories. I’ll tell you the end right now: I was sent home from labor and delivery after some tests/monitoring and am okay and so is Baby Meatball.

Sunday night: Midnight visit
My first thought when I saw the blood in the toilet and on the toilet paper was, “Should I tell Sean?” Of course, I knew I had to. I know spotting early in pregnancy is normal, but this wasn’t early. I was 30 weeks along.

I went back to the bedroom and turned on the lights. “So… there’s some blood.”

He immediately got up and stayed calm. While looking for the number to the doctor’s office, we double-checked what the Mayo Clinic book and literature from Kaiser said about bleeding at this point. The doctor’s office put me through to the advice nurse who asked a few questions and then told me to call labor and delivery. I summed up my issue in one sentence to a nurse. She responded succinctly, “Yup, you need to come in.”

We changed quickly and were at the hospital five minutes later. (I’m glad I live so close.) It was a little after 12:15 when I checked in.

Once admitted, I was monitored by the nurses for contractions and asked several questions about the bleeding and my medical history/pregnancy thus far. The doctor on duty checked me out and concluded that everything looked okay (cervix is fine, placenta was away from the cervix thus not the cause of the bleeding, no contractions). I was sent home with directions to not have sex and return if there was more bright red blood or cramping.

I’ve never been admitted to the hospital for anything, so the whole experience was surreal even if I was just there a couple of hours. The scariest thing, according to Sean was when the machine monitoring my contractions made a long beep noise. Seriously, it sounded like it was flatlining. A nurse rushed back and said, “oh, the printer is stuck.” Sean did not like the printer’s warning beep.

On the bright side, I did get to see Baby Meatball briefly during the quick ultrasound. He looks good and definitely has Sean’s lips. We got home a little before 3 and I emailed my boss to let he know I’d be taking the morning off.

Today: Too many needles
Despite starting off the week at the hospital, I felt fine for the next few days. I was especially happy this morning because Baby Meatball is now 31 weeks old.

I went in for my monthly appointment with my OB. It was short and sweet. The nurse who checked me in gave me a TDAP shot (ouch!). My doctor mentioned my low blood pressure, but wasn’t worried since it’s been like that for the past few months, my heart rate is fine, and I’m asymptomatic. We talked about baby’s growth and what to expect when I come back at 35 weeks. Everything looked good during the quick ultrasound and then she sent us off on our way to my next appointment with the lactation nurse.

While Sean and I were in the RN’s office listening to her talk about how to get the baby to latch on, I started to feel sick. I had the same symptoms I had on the bus in February and after the Café Tacuba show last month. I told the nurse I didn’t feel well and she gave me a plastic trash bag so I could vomit. The nausea and faintness were relieved by vomiting, my vision returned to normal and I cooled down again. The nurse took my blood pressure and consulted with my doctor. Instead of sending me home, they sent me next door to labor and delivery.

Once again I was monitored for contractions. My blood pressure was checked every 15 minutes and I had blood drawn for a few tests (blood sugar, anemia, electrolytes). I was hooked up to an IV to ensure I got more fluids in case I was dehydrated. I got my results and everything looked normal, I didn’t have any contractions and once again Baby Meatball was fine. The midwife on duty ruled out potential causes for the dizziness and then said I was fine to go home to rest. Before I left the nurse gave me warning signs for preterm labor, pre-eclampsia, and tips on dealing with dizziness during pregnancy. I spent the rest of the day resting at home and Sean went to work.

It was funny, shortly before I got sick, Sean thought we were going to be in and out of our appointments quickly. Hah. I guess I had other plans.

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