Boda

A red nose and a white dress

I was not looking forward to dress shopping. There were three main reasons: I can be indecisive; I wanted to avoid the ego blow when I saw the non-vanity sized tag in the dress that closed (or didn’t); and the pressure to have the “oh, mommy!” or “this is the one” moment. I also dreaded having to go several places to find something I wanted. Up until now, planning has been relatively simple and Sean and I have gone with the first or second site or vendor we’ve found and liked.

And so, I put it off. I probably would have waited longer if the planning checklists I consulted didn’t say wedding dress shopping should begin right around now, or two months ago.

As January wore on, I started searching. First, I looked through general wedding planning websites for tips on finding a dress, trying on dresses, types of dresses, best dresses for your body type, etc. I made a spreadsheet of local bridal boutiques, both small business and chain shops. I read Yelp horror stories and freaked out. I asked friends and family for recommendations for shops and got some tips.

Then I waited a couple of weeks. This is the way wedding planning goes for us. Sean and I will be productive one day and then take a break for the next two weeks.

When I was home for the grandparents’ anniversary party, mom reminded me about going dress shopping. Early last week, I opened up my trusty spreadsheet — Google Docs has been great through planning — and made two appointments at shops near my apartment. I let mom and Lori know so they could make plans, take time off work.

For the next few days, I did my homework. I checked out the many dresses made by the labels carried at the boutiques. By Friday morning, I had three albums of screenshots of dresses I liked along with a list of elements I did and did not like. I didn’t have any musts for my dress, but knew I probably wasn’t going for a huge Cinderella ball gown with a busy pick-up skirt or a fitted mermaid gown with tons of bead work and huge bows.

Mom and Lori arrived promptly at 9:40 on Friday morning and we drove to Rosa’s Shop in Culver City. I’ve been in the area many times and noticed the store, but never had occasion to step in for a bridal gown, formal dress, first communion or baptism dress/suit.

Rosa met us outside the shop and we quickly got to business. I named dresses I liked and she pulled them out or found something similar. Lori got a mini upper body workout moving the dresses from the racks to the dressing room.

While Rosa went through the racks she pulled out a couple of dresses with details I liked and were within my price range even if they were not on my not-so-short list. Once in the dressing room, I stripped down and she began helping me get into the dresses. We’d step out of the room and take three steps to the platform where I’d slip on Lori’s shoes and check out my reflection.

I tried on 6 or 7 dresses. I can’t remember the exact number, just that we were pretty efficient. I liked all of them. Surprisingly, mom and Lori were mostly in agreement. I expected our preferences would differ more and underestimated how well they know me, my style and taste. If I wasn’t excited about a dress or didn’t like something about it, they didn’t like it either. They were opinionated without being unhelpful or stressing me out.

The penultimate dress I tried was made by a designer whose dresses feature corset backs. It was nice, but not my favorite. The whole process of getting laced in seemed a bit complicated and I didn’t want to do that again for the last dress on the rack, also by the same designer. I was ready to be done, but Rosa asked me to try the dress on. It was her favorite. She’d pulled it out earlier from a rack after I told her what I was looking for.

“You said you wanted [X element],” she reasoned.

Rosa was right. I agreed to try it on. She took it out of the clear garment bag and took it off the hanger. I got the dress on and walked out to the platform. I slipped on Lori’s shoes and instantly grew 5 inches. I stood still and studied my reflection as Rosa laced up the corset and tied the strings. As she pulled tighter, I felt something. No, it was not the loss of oxygen.

I loved my reflection. The dress was perfect. I loved the fabric and the pretty, but not overdone details. I loved what it did for my figure. I felt beautiful.

I looked down to my mom — and odd feeling since she’s a few inches taller than me. She nodded her head like she does when she’s thinking and gave a soft smile. This dress was different. She had immediate comments on all the other gowns. Not this one. Lori — now wearing my purple flats — was smiling too.

I needed to see what Sean would see as I walked down the aisle with my father by my side.

“Can I try on a veil?”

I stayed on the platform while the others walked over to veil display. They picked out a chapel length veil. Rosa affixed it to my hair and pulled the tulle down over my face.

Something clicked. I turned to my mom.

I choked up as I said, “Mom, this is the one I want.”

Yeah, I cried. My nose got red. Lori took my camera out of my purse and took some pictures. (Of course, those won’t be shared.)

As cliché as it sounds, I’d just had my “oh, mommy!” moment. (Oh, wedding industrial complex, you win again. At least I’m aware of what I’m falling for because I read Rebecca Mead’s One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. That makes it okay, right?)

As I walked around the room getting a feel for how the dress moved, I thought my dad would’ve been crying if he saw me. It’s a good thing my mom and Lori foresaw that and didn’t let him tag along.

I went back to the carpeted platform and stared at myself for a couple more minutes. I asked Rosa about the details, cost, length, bustles and other potential alterations.

And then I realized it was 11:36 and I had a noon appointment at the Alfred Angelo store in Beverly Hills. I hurried to change in to my casual dress. Rosa gave me a quick hug before leaving and I promised to return.

Corriendo

Glad I didn’t bail: SRLA 18-Mile Friendship Run

I almost bailed on the SRLA 18-Mile Friendship Run at Hansen Dam earlier this week. I’d forgotten to register and saw that the late fee was $75 ($15 over early registration). That’s pretty steep for what would essentially be a long run with course support. I sucked it up as I like supporting the race host, Students Run LA.

I went in to the race this morning a little hurried. I didn’t get much sleep after a friend’s party and then fixing up the blog to prevent more hacks (hence the new look). I woke up this morning at 5:30 annoyed that I had to leave the dinner party I was dreaming about. Instead of digging in to a giant bowl of arroz con pollo, I drank coffee and ate my usual pre-long breakfast, peanut butter and banana toast.

A couple hours later, Sean and I were at the Hansen Dam Recreation Center. I jokingly asked Sean, “why is running so white?” while walking past a crowd that truly represented LA’s diversity. One of the reasons I love SRLA is because they bring a lot of diversity to the running community. I picked up my bib, took care of pre-race necessities, told Sean about the best spectating spots near the start/finish line, squeezed into the crowd of SRLA students and got my podcasts ready.

I didn’t have much of a plan or a goal for this race. I wanted to finish <2:50 (9:27 pace), but would be fine a few minutes over. A 9:27 is a little fast for a typical long run, but I figured it’d help me gauge my fitness and figure out a marathon race pace. I know I can run sub-9 without a problem for 13.1, but what can I do for 26.2?

We started promptly at 8. I kept the first mile easy and slow. It’s nearly impossible to run a fast first mile with congestion at the start. I mostly succeeded in my goal of not getting stressed by runners blocking me and slowing me down. I settled in to a comfortable pace and ran about 9 minute miles for the first loop. I finished the first half in ~1:21. I pulled over for a bathroom stop and lost a couple of minutes, but didn’t stress. I also stopped to remove a pebble from my shoe, and at most of the water stations. It was easier that way, otherwise I’d miss the water or crash into another runner walking as I tried to pick up/grab a cup. The second loop was more challenging. I got tired, the sun bugged me more, and I hated running on the dam. I really needed water up there, but was saved by volunteers with oranges. I managed not to slow down as I knew I was within reach of my goal.

As we exited the dam and ran the final half mile stretch, I sped up slightly. I got another boost when I heard the beat of Aztec drums and saw danzantes between me and the finish line. Unfortunately, they ended the song just as I passed, but it still energized me and made me feel even better about the race. I felt great when I finished. I didn’t feel fatigued or more achy than expected. If I had to, I could have gone a few more miles despite mild IT band pain.

Despite the stops and slowing down a bit, I met my informal goal. I finished in 2:47:56 (9:20 pace); 5th in female 30-34 age group.

Last year, this race was tough mentally and physically. It was the first time I’d run 18 miles. I also made the mistake two weeks before the race of donating blood. I’m all for donating blood, but was too dumb/inexperienced at this wannabe athlete thing to know it’d affect my performance for a couple of months.

This year was much different since I knew what to expect and overall have become a stronger runner. Eighteen miles isn’t easy, but I know it’s doable. It was a sunny morning, but much cooler than last year. The climbs in Shadow Hills (miles 4-6 and 12-14) didn’t feel as challenging as when I ran them last year.

Overall, I’m really glad I didn’t skip the race. I’m getting excited about the LA Marathon. I’m beginning to think that what McMillan calculators say I can run for the marathon is in reach, especially on the familiar Stadium to the Sea course. I needed this race. I’ve felt a little unsure thus far since I didn’t feel like I was training in earnest until two weeks ago. I’m 6 weeks out and have only done one 18 miler. I trust that Marc, my online coach, will get me to the start line healthy — my number one priority.

Two notes:

My Garmin had me at about 17.3 miles. It clocked a similar distance last year. I don’t think the race is short, but I think the reading on the dam is inaccurate. I was matching up with the mile markers the first half until the stretch across the dam.
If you take water every mile, you might want to carry a bottle or fuel belt. There’s no aid stations on the dam. The race organizers let people know about this, but I underestimate the length and the need for a quick sip. There are aid stations right before and right after the dam.
My bathroom stop was my first during a race. Glad I checked that off during a low key event.

Randomness

Ten tidbits for the week

I got a mysterious cut on my thumb. It’s more annoying than painful, especially when squeezing lime or giving my apartment a much-needed scrubbing.

I went wedding dress shopping with my mom and sister yesterday. I’m pretty sure I found the dress.

I read on NPR’s The Salt blog that Americans eat an average of 31 pounds of cheese annually. That caught my eye for obvious reasons. I didn’t know if it was a #31fail or a #31ftw. Then I did the math. 31 pounds is only 1.35 ounces a day. That’s around 1 1/3 servings daily. No big deal. If it was the amount of cheese I consumed yesterday — one slice on an egg sandwich, half a slice on a cheeseburger, half of that mozzarella en carroza up there, and whatever was on two slices of sausage & spinach pizza — then I’d be concerned.

I really hate this statement: “getting a BA is the new high school diploma, it’s meaningless.” All that tells me is that the speaker comes from quite the privileged background. I know that for someone who shares my background — immigrant parents, first generation college student, Chicana, lower middle class — earning a BA was beating the odds. Hell, graduating high school is a big deal for a lot of people like me. It’s true that college-going and graduation rates have increased for all segments of the population, but some groups still fall far behind.

I made my first trip to Target in a few weeks. To keep to my not be a sucker for Target resolution I made a list beforehand, and stuck to it for the most part. I bought one item off the list, a set of 10 pound dumbbells. Sean gave me his disapproving side-eye if he caught me looking at something that was not on the list, but he suggested the new dumbbells since the 8 pound ones are too easy.

I’ve been strength training twice a week for seven weeks now. I’m seeing some results. I’ve been able to increase the weights 25%. Okay, it’s only going from 8 pounds to 10, but that’s still improvement. My jeans and blouses fit less snug too.

I thought I was getting faster after incorporating regular strength and cross training. After doing the math, I’m not so sure. I averaged a 9:15 pace for easy runs from October through December; this excludes long runs and races. In January my easy runs averaged a 9:04 pace. Not as big a difference as I thought considering my average easy run is shorter these days. Well, at least I’ve shown some recent improvement in the half marathon distance. I ran about 2:03 in my first half marathon in October 2010. My personal best in December was 10 minutes faster.

This week I realized I was “brave” because I venture out in to the world without makeup and any special hair style 95% of the time. I don’t wear makeup because I want to buck social norms. I’m just too apathetic to bother, too cheap to spend money on the good stuff, and don’t like spending much time getting ready. I really like the way I look with makeup, but I’m not so used to myself with mascara and eyeliner that I feel I look ghostly or insecure without it.

I had my first beer in a month yesterday. I temporarily gave up alcohol in January. It’s easy for me. I don’t drink much to begin with. Now, giving up Diet Coke for a month was difficult.

My Blogotitlán friends want to run the Chicago Marathon in the fall. I’m bummed I’ll have to sit out this reunion as I’ve already decided not to run a fall marathon and I’ll probably be tapped out of any extra funds due to the wedding and honeymoon. [Photo by Oso.]

Listed

February goals & January goals check-in

FEBRUARY GOALS

I’ll leave off all the ones relating to all the other things I need to be doing as they just feel like checklists.

Health & fitness

1. Stick to my LA Marathon training plan and get through the highest mileage weeks and long runs of marathon training without injury. Plan includes strength and cross training.

2. Figure out a race pace and get comfortable with it.

3. Run the Hansen Dam Friendship Run 18-miler.

4. Change up my strength and core routine. Try another Nike Training App workout. I did — er, attempted — a core workout and it kicked my ass.

5. Track (with points) for at least a week and one weigh-in. I got through about 4 days of tracking my points and then abandoned it after the BBQ for my grandparents’ anniversary.

6. Continue planning out dinners for weekday nights at the beginning of the week. We just started doing this and it really helped save time and streamline shopping.

JANUARY GOALS CHECK-IN

Health & fitness

1. Continue attending yoga classes: Nope. Yoga went by the wayside as I got in more running.

2. Rehab IT band: Sorta. It feels much better, but I still feel some discomfort during long runs. It’s not as bad as it was in December. I need to be better about icing and rolling it with the Stick, even if I don’t feel like I need it. I’ve been increasing my mileage recently and have felt good.

3. Get my 5 servings of fruits and veggies daily: Check. Eating a big salad for lunch almost daily helps with this.

4. Attend one Weight Watcher’s meeting: Check. I started tracking and counting points for food last week. Based on my sex, age, height, weight, and activity level, I was allotted 26 measly points. I haven’t stayed within that limit at all in the last 7 days. If I did, I’d feel quite hungry. In the past, I still lost weight even using the weekly flexibility points (49/week) and activity points I earned.

5. Stick to Marc’s training plan: Check, sorta. Sometimes, I don’t do the scheduled cross training and run instead. However, I’ve stuck to the straining and look forward to it. I’ve been able to up the weights for the dumbbells I’m using.

6. Negative split at Carlsbad half marathon: Check, just barely.

Wedding

1. Update guest list: Check. It’s a little worrisome that our guest list is larger than our venue cap.

2. Gather addresses: Check. The mailing list is 85% complete. We still need addresses for Sean’s family and his parents’ friends.

3. Make planning timeline, consult planning checklists: Half check. I got the latter done and downloaded a few wedding planning apps.

4. Schedule Catholic couples retreat: Not yet.

5. Begin wedding gown search: Online, yes. I got suggestions from LA/Southern California area bridal boutiques from friends and family. I’ll be visiting a few shops later this week with my mom and sister.

6. Complete save-the-dates: Check. We got them on Monday.

7. Make wedding website: Check. It’s still in progress.

8. Book honeymoon: Nope. We still have a lot of work to do researching the various options.

Bonus:
I originally delegated the mariachi search to my dad. I know he’s picky with mariachis and he has good taste. He had a group he liked, but they were booked. After some online searching, my dad went to a party and heard a mariachi he really enjoyed. They also had two women in the group, which I liked because I love to hear women sing rancheras and boleros. The group is available and affordable. We just need to make it official.

We also signed up for a couple of gift registries. We haven’t done much with them yet.

Blog

1. Bring back This Day in Chicano History posts: Check. I have a list I made a couple years ago with several dates. I need more women-related dates on it.

Familia

The red hat: Who wore it best?

Years ago, my mom complimented a woman on her hat as she walked out of Sunday Mass. I watched as the woman accepted the compliment and said something like, “Oh, you can have it!”

Mom tried to protest, but the woman insisted and placed the red hat on mom’s head. Mom got a new hat and a story to tell with it.

Anyway, I didn’t think she still had the hat until Sunday when she brought it out. I still don’t know why she brought it out, but it quickly became a photo prop. First Adrian tried it on, then Valerie, then me, Sean, Josie and mom.

Who do you think wore it best? Clockwise from top left: Sean, Adrian, Josie, Mom, Valerie.

The Diptic app only has room for 5 photos, so I left myself out of the collage.

Lotería Chicana

Author Archives: cindylu