Cuentos, Familia

We got hosed, Tommy

“We got hosed, Tommy!” Lori said to me and sat down on a bench, exhausted from a long day exploring cenotes (underground lakes) and the pyramids at Chichen Itza.

We’d just missed the ferry from Playa del Carmen back to Cozumel and had to wait another hour for the next ferry. That wouldn’t seem so bad, unless you consider that we’d been traveling around the Yucatán Peninsula since 6 in the morning and it was now 10.

“I know Tommy, let’s go get drinks.”

We left my parents at the dock and joined the guys at a nearby bar for a cold beer.

For the rest of the trip, Lori and I repeated the phrase several times and even addressed each other as Tommy. My mom was confused.

“Qué es eso de Tommy?”

We shrugged.

We couldn’t remember where we’d heard the phrase. I kept thinking it had something to do with The Rugrats due to the toddler in the blue shirt named Tommy.

I repeated the phrase recently to Alan when we got duped in to taking an unnecessary cab ride to the Neon Museum in Las Vegas.

“Huh? Where is that from?” he asked.

“I don’t know… I think it’s from Rugrats. Maybe I should check.”

A few weeks later, I finally got around to a quick Google search. Mystery solved thanks to YouTube.

This post sponsored by Mountain Dew. Just kidding.

Familia

Sonrisas

rubén “Can I hold him?” I asked Danny, my cousin.

“Yeah,” he gladly handed over Rubén, his 8 month old son. “My arm is getting tired. I think I’m even sweating.”

Rubén looked at me curiously. He looked down at the pendant hanging on a thin silver chain around my neck. With his chubby little fingers, he started pulling.

“No, papas, don’t pull that.” I got the pendant out of his tight grip and moved it out of his reach behind my neck. As I pulled my hair aside Rubén noticed my earrings and started touching them too.

“Oh no, papas,” I said. Rather than figure out just how hard an 8-month old can pull, I took out the earrings.

“He likes looking at stuff and seeing people,” Danny called out to me.

“Oh okay,” I said and walked with him around the house. His dark brown eyes darted back and forth as he checked out the paintings on the walls and family he rarely sees enjoying Mother’s Day. I took him to the sunny backyard where my uncles were seated. Rubén looked at them calmly. I tried to sit down, but he wasn’t having it, so I took him to see the fish tank in my grandparent’s room. On the way there, we passed Elsie and Danny. Rubén turned to his mom, smiled and then turned back toward me.

“He smiled and barely looked at me!” she said, surprised as we kept walking to the living room.

“You know,” Elsie began, “he doesn’t go with just anyone. And he definitely doesn’t smile with most people.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he likes you. I think you have good chemistry with kids.”

“Maybe… or it could be that I just know how to make the boys smile,” I joked.

A few minutes later, Elsie and Danny started saying their goodbyes. As he gave me my goodbye hug, he said, “now we know who to call to babysit.”

I’d be down.

There’s nothing like a well-behaved baby to help me get my baby fix.

Familia

Thanks, Mom

Dear Mom,

Happy Mother’s Day!

Thank you for being awesome, for supporting me in every endeavor, for working hard to give me a comfortable life (but not be wasteful), for teaching me to be a good person, for making me feel better, for being creative and artistic, for teaching me to never be ashamed of my roots, for standing up for me (even if I didn’t deserve it), for reading, for showing me the meaning of strength and faith, for always making such delicious food, for teaching me how to dress, and above all, for loving me unconditionally.

You’re the light in my life.

Love,

Cindy (aka your Favorite Daughter)

Payasadas

Puro Pedo Magazine’s Insecure Pendejo Indicators

Puro Pedo Magazine’s new issue came out this week. To download a pdf copy just click here. The following article, “10 Signs You Are Dating an Insecure Pendejo,” was written by a few women on staff and is in this month’s issue. I’m sure you can add your own signs. We came up with about two dozen, but had to whittle down the list.

As an independent Chicana it can be hard to find a partner that embraces you and doesn’t feel like he’s walking in your shadow. The mujeres of Puro Pedo Magazine have devised 10 Insecure Pendejo Indicators to help you out in your quest to find someone as wonderful as you..

After breaking up, he keeps calling to ask why you havent called him.
He decides he wants a second chance only after you have moved on.
After 9 months of dating, he still hasnt changed his relationship status on MySpace.
He gives you a quota of three accomplishments per year.
His idea of fun is watching Family Guy and drinking beer.
He is more concerned with your weight than he is with his own.
He keeps asking you for a threesome for his birthday.
He gets jealous when you hug your male cousins at family parties.
He convinces you not to break up with him so that he can break up with you later.
You read this article to him and hes not laughing.

Tu sabes, if he is an insecure pendejo he just might not be secure enough to be with you so dont be an insecure pendeja and move on.

DISCLAMER: The material for this article came from a variety of sources. Any similarities to an actual insecure pendejo is out of mere coincidence.

Mememe

La Tocaya

Way back when I started college ten years ago (!), I did what everyone else did: look myself up in the online directory. I wanted to see what information was listed so I could change it if needed, you know since I had so many potential stalkers.

I searched my first and last name and found something shocking and completely unexpected. I was not the only Cynthia Mosqueda on campus. Gasp!

I was upset for the rest of the day. I wanted to kick someone, preferably my tocaya (namesake). Of course, I had no reason to kick her. In fact, she didn’t have my name, I had her name. She was a senior and I was a freshman (I’ve never met her, but my section leader in band knew her). I thought about complaining to my parents about their name choice. Perhaps they should have named Veronica like they originally planned. They dropped the name when some friends chose the name for their daughter born just a few months before me. At least then, I wouldn’t have found my tocaya for another 8 years or so until I met my cousin Julio’s fiancé and they got married. Up until college, I’d never met a Mosqueda that was not related to me. I thought my last name was rather rare and I liked it that way.

I quit my pouting after a day or two. A few months later, la tocaya was gone from the directory as she graduated and moved on. All was right in the world and I was the only Cynthia M in the directory… for a while.

Last fall I started to get a bit freaked out by some comments made online. I wanted to make sure the harassment didn’t move beyond creepy comments, so I double checked my entry on the campus directory.

She was back. And worse, la tocaya was in my department. Since I’m hardly ever at the ed school and she’s in a different program, I’ve never met her. After a conversation with Oso about finding another white David Sasaki on Facebook, I decided to look up my tocaya.

Not only does she have my name, she’s also cuter than me. Damn. At least I’ll be Dr. Cynthia Mosqueda before her.

Lotería Chicana

Author Archives: cindylu