When our ultrasound tech, Ling, announced “Well, it’s a boy” matter-of-factly I choked up. “I’ll show you later,” she added.
For the past ten minutes, I’d been lying uncomfortably in a dim room while she pushed at my abdomen with the transducer probe. The poking and prodding of the past three ultrasounds was bad enough, but the anatomy scan was worse. I drank 32 ounces of water over an hour earlier without peeing as required. That’s a lot of liquid for a bladder already under a lot of pressure. Along with that, I had to turn my head up to view the screen which was awkward and uncomfortable.
But that didn’t matter as soon as Ling said that three letter word.
A boy! My dad was right.
I cried for the first time during an ultrasound and let the tears trickle down my chin. I squeezed Sean’s hand but didn’t turn back to him as I had already done several times that morning. I’m not sure why I wanted to hide my tears. Perhaps I didn’t want him to interpret them as disappointment.
They’re definitely not disappointment. I’m pretty sure I would’ve cried either way. I thought of how happy Sean will be to buy our son all the superhero toys and clothes he surely wanted as a kid — or as a thirty-something. I also couldn’t help but think of the struggles young men of color face. The day before, I’d seen lots of stories about the anniversary of Trayvon Martin’s killing. He’s not even here and I’ve already become protective of him and what he might face.
Ling showed us later how she was sure of the sex. Baby Meatball was not shy. She continued on with the scan for another 45 minutes or so. She got photos of several organs and body parts as required for the anatomy scan and then sent us on our way.
As soon as we were out we called our parents and siblings to share the news. The responses ranged from “I knew it!” to “So it’s official?” I had another appointment that morning with my OB. She already had the results from the radiologist’s analysis and told us all looked normal. We also talked about how to prevent the dizziness and faint feelings. Everything she suggested was in the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Health Pregnancy book. I should have read that more closely considering my history.
Later in the day, I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure. It’s been too long. I chose baby blue, I couldn’t help it. At least I’m aware of the “nurture” in socializing gender roles.
Yesterday we went shopping for a Batman nightlight I’d seen online. We left with the nightlight and Baby Meatball’s first book.
Sean posted his reaction this morning. Read it here.
*Apologies to Morrissey for the title. I had to do it after finally seeing him live Friday night. I feel like I went through a Chicana@ rite of passage. Plus, Sean took the best title (About A Boy) for his post.