In the middle of the summer, I attended a birthday party for my cousin’s daughter. It was the first time in a while I had seen a lot of my cousins and tíos/tías. They noticed the weight loss and complimented me, asked questions and made some off-color jokes (“are you anorexic?”). As I’ve mentioned before, I’m ambivalent about the comments. It’s nice to see that others recognize my efforts, but I’m still uncomfortable the attention to my body when the comments come from men or are mentioned loudly in a group.
One comment still resonates a few months later.
As I was making the rounds and saying goodbye to my family, my uncle pulled me close.
“You look great, mija. But no more… don’t lose anymore.”
I didn’t say anything as I did the quick calculations of how much I still needed to reach my goal, or even be within the healthy weight range for my height.
“Um, thanks tío,” I said softly and then continued on to say goodbye to my other tíos and cousins.
A few months later, my uncles words still ring in my head, especially as I’m getting closer to the number I arbitrarily set for my goal weight and I’m not sure how I’ll feel once I’m there. I’m also tired of having to buy new clothes, especially with the cooler temperatures.
Maybe I should set a different goal: being able to share clothes with my sister. (My mom already passed down a bunch of skirts.)
Progress photos after the jump.
L-R (click any link below to see a larger version of each picture)
1. 122008, 2. 011509, 3. 013109, 4. 021409
5. 031509, 6. 041809, 7. 052709, 8. 060609
9. 061409, 10. 070109, 11. 070509, 12. 072109
13. 073109, 14. 080309, 15. 080709, 16. 081409
17. 083009, 18. 093009, 19. 091409, 20. 092309
Lotería Chicana 
.”I’m also tired of having to buy new clothes, especially with the cooler temperatures.”
– Really? how can this get old? That ‘s the best part of losing weight, other than the being healthy part. If you set a goal for yourself, then you should try your best to achieve it.
I’m very proud of your progress.
It’s a drastic change and people usually dont have the willpower and discipline to accomplish so much weight loss (I know I dont!).
If I didn’t know you better, Id think you were doing drugs – cocaine, crystal, etc. But then again, you are a Phd student and Phd students have a lot more willpower and discipline than your average joe…so it makes sense.
Either way, I think it looks good. Keep it up. Your uncle is probably just trying to be nice – reassure you that you looked good before as well. At the very least, get within the healthy weight range for your height and stick to it.
Wow Cindy! Your discipline is comendable! You inspire me to go get some new running shoes!
I remember when I lost weight. I had no control over the pounds shedding off me at first. It was natural. I had just turned seventeen and shed 65 pounds in just a month. It was so fast, that mentally, I wasn’t prepared and therefore wore my old clothes because my mind told me they fit, although I looked like I was wearing a potato sack. Imagine going from size 36 pant size to size 29. It’s still crazy… and it takes time to adjust.
I hated having to buy new clothes. One of the things that I always envied from my much thinner brothers was that they could wear anything. But funny thing was that I had a difficult time finding size 29 pants with a leg size of 30. Still, the constant buying of pants and shirts and draws was annoying.
Another aspect, your experience reminds me of is other people’s perspectives. As soon as I lost weight, I had automatic attention from the ladies (yay!) and once a group of girls came up to me and said: “You know you’re cute NOW.”
Now.
Before. I wasn’t. No one even noticed. I was just the fat guy.
It was jarring for me, and it took years to not feel angry over people’s shallowness.
I was told by familia that I was:
bulemic
anorexic
druggy
gay and probably had AIDS
I got it from all sides… people were happy for me but also suspicious. What I learned in the last few years was to finally just be happy for myself, and who I am. And I tell say to you, Ms. Cindylu, that it’s up to you what makes you happy. There’s something wonderful about running and exercising and being active. It changes you. It gives you discipline and it’s not easy, hell no. It’s always an incline, but life is always an incline.
those are my two pesos. 🙂
I know what you mean, I reached my goal and would like an extra 10 off, but when your dad says “stop losing more weight” it boggles your mind. It makes you wonder, do I look that different, because I don’t feel it. Shows you it’s all mental. I’ve had to take in all my previous jeans that I LOVE!!! So what’s stopping me from losing more? I don’t want to get rid of my great clothes! You look great and only you know when the time is right to stop!
I think you look great! I agree w/ HP (not often that I do) in that you should just get into the healthy weight range and stick with it. You don’t need to deprive yourself or prove yourself any more by becoming too small. Besides, if you fell ill, having a little extra weight might do you some good instead of being so tiny that you become gaunt.