Last year, I wrote that I never fantasized about my wedding. I lied. I thought about dresses and honeymoon locations a lot as a kid.

My family used to visit my mom’s brother and his family in San Diego a few times a year. I loved the visits to tío Beto and tía Ana’s house mainly for the pool and hot tub in the back yard. 

When I wasn’t in the pool or watching TV, I was in the waiting/dressing room outside tía Ana’s workshop. The garage had been converted to a workspace where tía Ana constructed beautiful wedding gowns and other formal dresses. I didn’t spend too much time in garage. It was crowded with the large worktable, bolts of shiny white fabric and lace, 2 or 3 sewing machine work stations, and an ironing board and steamer. Plus, I was likely to get a spare pin in my foot or get my grubby hands on some expensive fabric.

The waiting/dressing room was a safe space. There was a couch, plenty of space and dozens of bridal magazines. I’d flip through these stacks admiring the lovely gowns and baffled by the advice sections. I never knew addressing wedding invitations could be so complicated. I don’t recall any longterm impressions from the gowns or what I thought of them aside from “oooh, pretty!” I do recall the honeymoon and travel sections. I adored the photos of white beaches and blue oceans in tropical locales. They reminded me of the beaches I saw in my parents’ photos from their anniversary trip to Cancún. It was through Brides or Modern Bride that I learned of the Poconos and the champagne-shaped hot tubs in honeymoon suites. They looked cool, but I was confused as to how people actually got in them. (I’m still not really sure where the Poconos are.)

Tía Ana made the flower girl dress I wore for another aunt’s wedding; she also made the dresses for the bride and the bridal party. That flower girl dress was reused twice as a First Communion dress and as a Halloween costume. She also made the poofy pink and white dress I wore for my quinceañera.

She gave up the business a while ago, so I can’t go to her to make my wedding dress. I’m not sure she’d want me as a client anyway. I’m too indecisive about these things.