During yesterday’s bus ride home, I was engrossed in a game of Ms. Pac-Man (because I’m a feminist and stuff) and a podcast when a young man took a seat in front of me. I looked up. He was looking at me like he knew me.
He smiled waiting for me to recognize him.
“Cindy? It’s Irvin.”
“Oh, I know… I recognize you.” He hadn’t changed much, he looked almost exactly as he did 9 years ago (he’s the one without the hat above).
I didn’t sound as enthusiastic as I should have. I was a bit confused and out of it. I really need a nap. I stopped my game and podcast and greeted him.
I met Irvin ten years ago at school and quickly became friends. Unfortunately, we lost touch over the years. I don’t remember the last time I saw him, but he asked if I was still dating a guy who lived in San Francisco. Um, no. That ended in 2002. I knew I’d seen him more recently maybe 4-5 years ago, but we just probably hadn’t talked about dating so he just remembered the SF guy.
“I saw you when you got on, but I didn’t know it was you at first. You look… uh, different.”
I knew what Irvin was trying to say. He was trying to say “wow, you lost a lot of weight” without seeming crass or rude. Totally understandable, it’s a sensitive subject for a lot of people and when people have noted it in the past it’s made me uncomfortable and even offended. Usually, people are complimentary and sincere.
Irvin was one of those, which is no surprise since he’s always been kind and friendly.
“You lost weight, right?”
“Yeah.”
We caught up about work, school, how I met my fiance and Irvin’s recent move back to the westside. I suggested we grab lunch while on campus.
“We should. I already added you on Facebook,” he replied, somewhat bashful.
“Really? On your phone?”
“Yeah. When I saw you I didn’t want to say hi without being sure. So I looked you up to see if I could find a more recent picture. I didn’t want to look crazy.”
I’m thankful for smart phones — despite refusing to get one — and that we could reconnect, albeit briefly.
I’ve had people doubt I’m the person I know or the one in the photo ID, but at least something good came out of this experience.
Lotería Chicana 
I’ve only lost about 15lbs recently and one of my friends who saw me said “you look – wait, to be clear, you always look good, but you look great!” hahaha. It is a bit of a difficult thing to say to someone without implying that they were “too fat” or somehow messed up before they lost the weight. Congrats, however! 😉
I was at a conference this week and three separate people mentioned using facebook to make sure someone was who they thought they were. Smart phones really can be good for reconnecting!