Crush evolution

I tend to develop crushes rather easily.

But all crushes are not equal. There’s the superficial crush, the mini-crush and full-blown crush.

98% of my crushes fall in to the superficial category. I decide I have a crush on him because I like his hair, shoes, eyes or smile. It’s surface level. Of course, some superficial crushes are not surface level, but they’re equally fleeting. Those are the intellectual crushes, a subset of the superficial crush category. I admire the words he uses, the ideas he states so eloquently, or his artistic or musical talents. Of course, these can be combined. He can have a great smile, be brilliant and have great taste in music and films.

But those all go away quickly and I’m left with a cool guy friend. Well, most superficial crushes go away.

The rest — 2% mind you — stay on as mini-crushes (also known as baby crushes). Mini crushes suck.

You know that scene in Clueless where Cher realizes she likes Josh? She’s terribly awkward and self-conscious? Well, that’s what my interactions with a mini-crush are like.

I like a mini-crush for the reasons listed above with the superficial crushes. The difference is that the mini-crush actually lasts longer. I try my best to keep a mini-crush from evolving into a full-blow crush. I do this mainly by trying to ignore all of my mini-crushes cool qualities. I even add some negatives in to the mix, if I can find them. The best crush diversion tactic is inaction. Taking any sort of action is a bad idea.

Of course… somewhere along the line, a mini-crush survives. I see past the negatives and the bad ideas. The mini-crush evolves to a full-blown crush.

This last type is rare, and it’s even worse than the mini-crush ’cause that’s when I forget about logic and do something crazy. You know, like actually admit how I feel.


12 thoughts on “Crush evolution

  1. for me crushes are fun, because the fact that i can call them crushes means that i’m taking them less seriously. i know on some level that the person and i are not the best match, but there’s still something(s) i like about them and the unidirectional admiration is a pleasant distraction. i may even say something, and if it doesn’t catch, oh well. do you have attractions that you differentiate from crushes? or is that the full-blown crush?

    also, *wiggles eyebrows* oooo. 😉 if this is a current event, que todo salga bien.

    (and mic.. honey, i like you, but i don’t *like you* like you. i’m sorry. can we still be friends?)

  2. I know this is terribly gross n’ what not, but I’ve always been able to put a dent on any ‘Infatuation’ by picturing the person using the restroom. If I made a pro’s and con’s list, I would probably list “uses restroom” as a very strong Con. I imagine it’s some Freudian thing.

  3. As someone in a relationship, crushes can be a crazy thing to deal with so I feel you on that one Cindylu.

    I would like to point out the irony of this post though. There’s probably hundreds of lurkers on this blog that have *HUGE* crushes on you. I mean, you’re such a public figure, you’re an amazing writer, and you have the most beautiful smile in Aztlan.

    Just sayin’.

  4. Momo says:

    Yes, I second Rio’s post. Furthermore, I would like to declare my intellectual mini-crush on you Cindylu for your blog writing. Keep up the cool posts!

  5. Alan,
    Be strong, friend!

    Yeah, they can be fun. I love to flirt, but when I actually kinda sorta like the guy, I’m such a dork.

    Oh I’ve been at the 2+ year full blown crush. Nothing happened. I said something. And like… well, you know what happened later… much, much later. Good luck with those crushes, mini and otherwise.

    You know, that might work, except *everyone* uses the bathroom. I think I’d be more troubled by people who didn’t use the bathroom.

    Oh, I bet. I’ve never had a crush while in a relationship. No, never… Um, well, probably. It’s hard!

    Dude, M is lucky to have you. You say the right things. Gracias.

    No! Que chismoso.

    No more novelas!

    Thanks! I’m glad you like the posts.

  6. Cindylu, I’m not sure what category this falls in, but I once had a crush on a young woman for about 20 years. I never found out her name, I just ran into her around town. First she was a “bagger” at the grocery store. She must have been about 16 at the time (as was I). Then she worked at a bookstore. Then I realized she took classes at the same martial arts studio I went to, but she was a blue belt and I was just a beginner. Once she sold me a coffee when she worked at a coffee place, but I was too shy to say anything. In the late 90s the crush ended when she happened to take a seat right behind me at a cafe. I could hear her speak and listened to her whole conversation. After all that, I found her voice just wasn’t right. Oh well.

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