Cuentos, Familia

A Trivial Moment

Earlier this year I listed playing trivia and word games as one of the sources of joy when things seem hard. I was definitely feeling it in February, but even more now when the other shoe dropped in my work life (see: grants from NSF being terminated).

Sean and I play several, mostly just us two. We starting playing the NPR Sunday Puzzle last spring. Once I realized that the kids could join in and get the on-air challenge, I started waiting to listen so the kids could join in, mostly on the way home from work/after-school programs. It’s a fun part of our week and now the kids are so used to the intro music and taglines they try to do it along with host Ayesha Rascoe¹.

The Sunday Puzzle includes a challenge question you do at home. Sometimes we get it and enter, sometimes we get it but forget to enter on time, and other times we’re left stumped. This week I got it and entered:

Name a famous singer past or present. Remove the first and last letter from the first name and the result will be a potential partner of the last name. What singer is this?²

Odds were in my favor since only ~450 people entered.

On Thursday afternoon I got a call from an NPR producer telling me I’d been selected! Some people seem to have been playing decades before they get on-air. I felt lucky and excited to be chosen. It was hard for me to keep the news to myself for a few hours. When I told my family they were so excited. Sean high-fived me and Xavi said “let’s go!” like his team had won a game.

What I felt like before playing (left).
How I felt after (right)

I did the recording on Friday. It was hard being on the spot with puzzle-master Will Shortz and I needed several hints and help from Rascoe, which I’ve seen often. I suddenly couldn’t name things I would know, like a language that begins with a N. You can take my Chicana card now for not using Nahuatl³. At least one of the categories was something I’d know well, colleges and universities.

While I told people I was going to be on the Sunday Puzzle, I also was hoping for a kind edit and media magic. The recording aired today on Weekend Edition and the first friend who listened told me I did awesome, especially with the colleges question. The kids on the other hand were glad I didn’t say their names. Archie also suddenly could name a number of dog breeds.

Nevertheless, it was fun! Since I was a kid, I always wanted to be on game shows like Jeopardy! or Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? As my brother Adrian said, this might be the closest I get to Jeopardy!.

Aside: it was really nice to chat with Rascoe pre-taping while we waited for Shortz to join the call. I told her how my kids were going to be so excited to hear I’d “met” her. Next NPR “bucket list” item I have is to get to a watch a Tiny Desk concert live.

Rascoe was so sweet. We had a few minutes pre-taping while we waited for Shortz to join the call. I told her how my kids were going to be so excited to hear I’d “met” her. Next NPR bucket list item I have is to get to a watch a Tiny Desk concert live. ↩︎
Gladys Knight! Take off the G and S and that becomes Lady who can be a partner of a Knight. This literally came to me in the shower. ↩︎
This came to me after Shortz suggested using Navajo. I don’t speak Nahuatl, but know numbers and some words. My email address contains the word for star, citlalli. ↩︎

Familia, Sentimientos

In these times

I’ve been getting flashbacks to early 2020 when we didn’t yet know how COVID-19 was going to impact us. There were huge impacts in my work at a university. I had to pivot to cancel or figure out how to move programs online. I barely knew how to use Zoom before March 2020 and quickly had to learn. I won’t even get into all the changes with school and childcare. It was hard, but fortunately I had a good support system both with family and professional help and felt relatively safe in my Ithaca bubble.

These days are different and I feel it in my bones and ability to concentrate. I love to read and struggle to get through books. It’s the dead of winter and the walks and activities that I enjoy and help manage my worries don’t seem appealing. As I write this, it’s in the teens outside.

So, here’s what I’ve been doing to try and manage my own mental health amidst a barrage of bad news.

Daily gratitude journal. Some days I’m just thankful for a cozy sweater or the light that streams into my window in my office. Just writing, using my dozens of pens and markers for doodling and making something pretty calms me.
Staying informed by reading/listening to a few news sources rather than doomscrolling endlessly. It’s one thing to read an article about the latest cuts to research funding. It’s another to read dozens and dozens of takes on that on Bluesky. I’m not on Twitter anymore. I’m never calling it the new name. I still doomscroll, but way less.
Playing more games. Sean and I recently started playing Cinematrix on New York Magazine. He is a movie trivia whiz. We also still play the NY Times games like Wordle and Spelling Bee. We listen to NPR’s Sunday Puzzle with the kids. No matter how many times Archie insists he doesn’t like the game, he joins in for the on-air puzzles. Usually, the weekly challenge is a little tough for them (and us too!), but Xavi was so excited when he helped us solve the puzzle on January 26th almost instantly: “Think of a popular singer whose first and last names each have two syllables. Drop the second syllable from each name and you’ll be left with the piece of a toy. What singer is this?” He gave the name of the singer and instantly I got the toy.
Music! Lately, I’ve been listening to Khruangbin or jazz greats like Miles Davis and Bill Evans while I work.
More TV and theorizing about my favorite mystery box shows like Severance and Yellowjackets.
Connecting with friends and family. This isn’t always easy, but a quick voice note does wonders to lift my spirit.
Being creative. Recently, I made the 12th version of Valentine’s Day cards for family members from the boys. I have a running list of punny jokes related to different members. The next project is making cards for friends.
Investing in creators who make content I value and enjoy. I’ve subscribed to Patreon for creators like The Stacks Podcast and Vibe Check. They both have robust communities for subscribers.
Volunteering. I’ve made an effort to get more involved with my local church. I’ve completed training for being a lector and have already.
Singing. I went to karaoke for the first time in years (maybe 15ish?). There was no one else in the place except me and a few coworkers. I sang way too many songs including “Por Un Amor” in Linda Ronstadt Canciones de Mi Padre style. Xavi is also into Hamilton again and we’ve been singing “Nonstop.”

Valentine with a photo of Xavi in a circle that reads "tío Adrian, you're bun in a million! burger bros p/v" from Xavi

valentine with a photo of archie's head and text that reads "tía Lori, I love you to the mountains and back"

Familia

The Coat

A few weeks ago I attended Xavi’s school production of The Tempest. He played Ariel, which he shared with two other students. This post isn’t about Xavi’s play, which I have so many feels about. How is my baby up on stage reciting Shakespeare?

Cindy giving a side hug to her son Xavi. He’s holding flowers and in his theater costume blue pants, shiny vest and a white shirt. She’s in a long multi-patterned dress and suede coat. — *My thespian!*

In getting ready for the play I decided to go a little dramatic to match my dramatic kid (his words!). I chose a new-to-me multi-patterned flowy dress. It was one of several dresses/skirts my cousin’s wife Sara let me have.

Cindy looking to the side in her suede fur-trimmed coat and multi patterned dress with lots of pinks and burgundies. She’s wearing aviators and has her hair down.

Cindy in her suede fur-trimmed coat and multi patterned dress with lots of pinks and burgundies. She’s wearing aviators and has her hair down.

It was too cold for just the dress and none of my other coats looked right. So I got out my maxi-length suede fur-trimmed coat. It matched the hippie, boho vibes.

This coat was the first item I thought of when I read Leonor’s newsletter # 261 (October, 2021)

What is the oldest item of clothing you own? My “rules” when I asked my friends was “nothing vintage, something you actually wore and could/do wear now”

Sure I have old t-shirts from my UCLA student activism days, but I wouldn’t wear them now. I keep them for sentimental value.

The coat was originally a Christmas gift from my sister. It was Lori’s first year out of high school and she had a job working at the same dealership with my dad and brother.

The coat was the kind of gift I wouldn’t buy myself because of the price or practicality – when would I need this kind of coat in LA? – but would secretly covet. As my sister, she knew me!

Cindy in her early 20s on a NYC subway platform for queens plaza. She’s in her suede fur-trimmed coat and is wearing it buttoned down with a tan bucket hat, boot-cut jeans and tan boots — *January 2003*

I wore it a few days later during my first trip to New York City. I even found a matching hat and felt cute.

Throughout my 20s, I’d wear it occasionally, but never on the regular. I wore simple pea coats and hoodies that allowed me to blend in and not bring attention to myself. It was why I often hid behind my long hair. I didn’t feel confident in my body.

Cindy sits cross-legged in a bookstore reading a poetry book in her suede fur-trimmed coat, jeans and sneakers. Her long dark brown hair falls over the book. — *Hiding behind my hair*

Last year, I pulled it out of the closet to briefly play dress up with Archie. He’d just got some new aviators and I thought he’d look cute with the coat on. I also tried it on then and it was too small.

Archie in the coat and avaiator sunglasses. Both are too big for his 7-year-old frame. — *Archie in the coat*

I briefly thought about selling it and looked up prices on eBay. But I didn’t want to do that since it was the first gift my sister got me as an adult with her own real money.

Cindy gives her sister Lori a kiss on the cheek. Lori is in a red long-sleeved shirt and Cindy is in the coat. They’re in their early-mid 20s. — *At Lori’s 21st birthday party*

I’d rather give it away to someone I knew. Instead I put it back in the closet with a goal of fitting into it again and having a worthwhile place to wear it to… like my kid’s school theater debut.

Familia

Los Cinco

*At my 25th birthday party with tío Johnny and tía Susana*

On October 21st tía Susana passed away in a tragic car accident in Tucson, Arizona. She died alongside her mother Chuy, brother Toño, sister Nena and brother-in-law Froylan. In one day an extended and close family lost five cherished members of their family.

My dad informed us the next day. I was shocked and saddened reading the news. My siblings were a little confused as it wasn’t clear from my dad’s words that our aunt was in the car too.

I stepped away from my desk. The day before I had just made a mini ofrenda and placed a picture of Papá Chepe and Mamá Toni. Now, I could only think of the immense loss for the larger family but also my cousin, his wife and their children. I left the office at walked up to the large chapel. I tried calling my parents, but they didn’t answer. They were probably on the phone with other family members. Eventually, I went home early. I needed the quite to think and pray.

I still can’t comprehend it. What I can comprehend is the ritual of laying someone to rest and how I find some comfort in singing alongside my dad and siblings.

When I told my dad we’d be going to LA for the services, he replied, “awesome, can use your voice.”

*With tía Susana at my 28th birthday party*

Dad sent me the worship aide (music selection) for tía Susana’s funeral earlier this week. He advised me to listen to songs on YouTube since I wouldn’t be able to rehearse ahead of time.

The first song is “Entre Tus Manos.” It made me think of tío Johnny’s funeral in 2012. Tía Sue and tío Johnny were married until his passing. As I listened and cried to the songs, I was inspired to go back and read what I’d written about his funeral. In reading that post, I realized I forgot most of the details. Of course I knew that I sang and that “Entre Tus Manos” was impactful, but I forgot that I didn’t even plan to sing because I’d been sick. Or that Lupe and Javier, two of tía Sue’s siblings had brought and played a recording of the youth choir singing back in the day with tío Johnny conducting. I found comfort in my own words. (I need to write more, but that’s another post.)

When tío Johnny died from a long illness, I was somewhat prepared. I had seen him the day before to say goodbye. Reading my post about after he died reminded me that tía Sue even got out one of his guitars so we could sing to him.

I don’t know if singing will bring any comfort, but I’ll be with family bringing our voices together. And maybe that’s what I really need.

***

The families are still raising funds through GoFundMe and other fundraisers. If you can support or share, they’d appreciate any assistance.

Cuentos, Familia

Cry Now, Smile Later

When I was a junior in college I took a creative writing course called bilingual autobiography. We wrote daily in the class and I still have my journal. Some of the prompts were things like “describe the last time you heard a mariachi.” Our final story for the course was something that stemmed from the prompt, “write about something that you can laugh about now, but was tragic or very upsetting at the time.”

I wrote about getting caught cheating on a test in eighth grade. My co-conspirator was my crush. It had everything a YM Say Anything tale of woe and embarrassment was made of: humiliation in front of peers, a kinda scary authority figure, bad judgment, even worse luck, and a crush there to see the whole thing. In my case, my crush was also getting in trouble. I worked on my story all quarter and was very proud of the final draft. I still have it in a box put away somewhere.

The tragicomic story has been on my mind a lot lately. I grew up hearing my parents tell stories about their childhoods in ways that made us kids roar with laughter. When my dad’s family migrated from Guanajuato to the US they settled initially in Texas. There, my grandpa Bartolo was a ranch hand on a farm. My dad’s tales of the time involved busting up bales of hay to find snakes and going to a school where all the white kids talked about fun summer activities that were foreign to him. They didn’t stay in Texas too long. When they left my grandma’s brother came to help them move. My dad was forced to part with his beloved dog, Blue Boy. The dog didn’t fit in his uncle’s station wagon. The car was already full of the family of 8 people. Perhaps it was 9. I don’t remember if my dad’s youngest two sisters were born yet.

I had my own recent situation that I could only laugh at because it’s too ridiculous to cry over. After finally rebooking some flights from last summer, I had to postpone a family trip to Disney World because of COVID. Coincidentally, the first cancellation for an LA trip in August 2021 was also due to COVID. After 2.5 years it finally got me in mid-September. I wasn’t too bummed although I had to spend my anniversary weekend isolated and feeling crummy. We were able to postpone a few weeks and save some money by altering our hotel plans.

As our trip approached, I started looking closely at the news about Hurricane Ian. Ultimately, we opted to cancel the trip. The kids understood, knowing that it was all out of our control and ultimately cancelling a trip is not a big deal when others are suffering the impact of the storm.

They’re clamoring for when we’ll reschedule this family vacation. I don’t know. Maybe the fourth time will finally be the charm we need.

For now, I’ll just make TikToks, laugh, and be thankful that although we didn’t take the trip(s) we’re safe and have recovered from mild bouts with COVID (yay for all being fully vaccinated and boosted!). I realized long ago that I need to be able to laugh in these situations to cope. It’s what my parents taught me.

Lotería Chicana

Category Archives: Familia