Bebe, Familia

The boy with the transducer probe in his side

Profile at 19 weeks

When our ultrasound tech, Ling, announced “Well, it’s a boy” matter-of-factly I choked up. “I’ll show you later,” she added.

For the past ten minutes, I’d been lying uncomfortably in a dim room while she pushed at my abdomen with the transducer probe. The poking and prodding of the past three ultrasounds was bad enough, but the anatomy scan was worse. I drank 32 ounces of water over an hour earlier without peeing as required. That’s a lot of liquid for a bladder already under a lot of pressure. Along with that, I had to turn my head up to view the screen which was awkward and uncomfortable.

But that didn’t matter as soon as Ling said that three letter word.

A boy! My dad was right.

I cried for the first time during an ultrasound and let the tears trickle down my chin. I squeezed Sean’s hand but didn’t turn back to him as I had already done several times that morning. I’m not sure why I wanted to hide my tears. Perhaps I didn’t want him to interpret them as disappointment.

They’re definitely not disappointment. I’m pretty sure I would’ve cried either way. I thought of how happy Sean will be to buy our son all the superhero toys and clothes he surely wanted as a kid — or as a thirty-something. I also couldn’t help but think of the struggles young men of color face. The day before, I’d seen lots of stories about the anniversary of Trayvon Martin’s killing. He’s not even here and I’ve already become protective of him and what he might face.

Ling showed us later how she was sure of the sex. Baby Meatball was not shy. She continued on with the scan for another 45 minutes or so. She got photos of several organs and body parts as required for the anatomy scan and then sent us on our way.

As soon as we were out we called our parents and siblings to share the news. The responses ranged from “I knew it!” to “So it’s official?” I had another appointment that morning with my OB. She already had the results from the radiologist’s analysis and told us all looked normal. We also talked about how to prevent the dizziness and faint feelings. Everything she suggested was in the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Health Pregnancy book. I should have read that more closely considering my history.

Baby blue

Later in the day, I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure. It’s been too long. I chose baby blue, I couldn’t help it. At least I’m aware of the “nurture” in socializing gender roles.

Baby's first book

Yesterday we went shopping for a Batman nightlight I’d seen online. We left with the nightlight and Baby Meatball’s first book.

Sean posted his reaction this morning. Read it here.

*Apologies to Morrissey for the title. I had to do it after finally seeing him live Friday night. I feel like I went through a Chicana@ rite of passage. Plus, Sean took the best title (About A Boy) for his post.

Bebe, Familia

A little scare and anatomy scan jitters

Written Wednesday, February 27th; edited today.

In a little over an hour, I’ll be going in for the anatomy scan. It’ll be the second part of the test to make sure everything is okay with the baby. Additionally, we’ll get to find out the baby’s sex, if he/she cooperates.

Pretty pink or baby blue? We found out today. Still seems surreal. @seanathan

I’m excited and a little scared at the same time. I’ve been really chill for the last 3 months. Sean is the one doing most of the worrying. This week is different.

On Monday morning I had one of my scary and annoying fainting spells. I was on the bus at the time and was sitting. At first I just felt nausea and thought it was motion sickness, which has been happening more often on the bus (I miss the days when I could read on the bus).

A stop later I knew it wasn’t the usual nausea that I could ride out until I got within a few blocks of work. I felt really bad (a) needed air and (b) really needed to get to a bathroom. At the next stop, I stumbled to the bus bench at Olympic and Westwood and took off my jacket immediately because I had chills and felt clammy. Everything looked really bright and I waited for my eyesight to readjust. Then I tried to figure out what to do. It was only about 8:30 so a lot of the places in the mini mall behind me were closed. I was 2 miles from home and about the same distance from work. When I felt okay to walk, I went across the street to use the bathroom. That made me feel better as did drinking some Gatorade.

After that I got to work on the next bus that came along. I felt weak and tired the rest of the day but the nausea and dizziness never returned. I got in touch with the Kaiser nurse hotline and they put through a message to my OB. By the end of the day I had talked to another nurse in the OB’s office and scheduled an appointment for today (Wednesday). She’s probably not happy I omitted that I faint rarely.

Normally, the fainting thing doesn’t freak me out, but everything’s different as I’m pregnant. I don’t want to faint while pregnant and if it’s something to do with my blood pressure or heart then that’s definitely cause for worry as my heart is working harder with the greater blood volume.

As for the scan, I’m just hoping all is good with Baby Meatball (yes, that’s our odd nickname for him/her, I hope he/she forgives us when we reveal this). I hope his/her ten fingers and toes are coming in just fine and. And I hope to feel those toes and feet soon with a kick or something. I still haven’t felt the baby and that bums me out a little.

We took a mini poll with the immediate family to vote on what they predict I’m carrying. Currently girl is winning by two votes. While I don’t have an intuition about the baby’s sex, my dad does. He dreamed about his grandchild shortly after we revealed we were expecting. He mentioned the dream a while ago, but kept the details to himself because he didn’t want to sway our name choices. He finally revealed on Sunday after voting in the poll that in his dream, our baby was a boy named Juan Carlos. “I think I was influenced by your tío Johnny’s passing since it was not too long after,” he confessed. It makes sense since Juan Carlos combines both brothers’ first names.

We’ll see if my dad is right. He’s got decent odds.