Dear José,
Happy 26th birthday! It’s your day, π day, the perfect birthday for a man destined to teach mathematics.
I miss you, man.
It’s been over eight months since we lost you. Of course, that initial pain we all felt on July 1st — that extreme shock and sadness — has faded.
I still think about you all the time. It’s hard not to considering your picture sits atop my bookshelf on my mini-altar. You’re there next to Cindy Rabuy and Grandpa and Grandma.
Most days, I feel okay. But there are some days when that initial pain comes back. It catches me off guard like a rough wave that leaves my eyes irritated and red from the saltwater.
That’s what happened in September. I was looking through some photos from Ralph’s Halloween 2006 party. I don’t look at those pictures much. They remind me of loss and severed relationships.
I came across this photo:
It took my breath away to see you and Jonathan grinning like fools. I have no clue why you guys are smiling so broadly. It doesn’t matter. It was just good to see that smile. I miss that smile and your positive energy.
I know I’m not the only one.
Love,
Me
Lotería Chicana 
“Most days, I feel okay. But there are some days when that initial pain comes back. It catches me off guard like a rough wave that leaves my eyes irritated and red from the saltwater.”
That is one of the best descriptions of what it feels like when you’re trying to cope with the loss of someone close to you that I’ve ever read.
The beauty of life is that people like your lost one will always live in your heart.